California Dreamin' {Day 1}

On May 16th the Ritchie family ventured off on our very first real family vacation. The weeks leading up to that day were filled with anxiety for this mama - mostly related to traveling with 2 boys, a double stroller, 2 carseats and a weeks worth of luggage - not to mention the 4:30 AM wake-up call and having to connect in Denver before our ultimate arrival in LA. My brain wanted to fixate on pending disaster, but my heart knew that I just needed to take a deep breath and hope for the best. And in all honesty, the best is exactly what we got!

Harry and his airplane.

 Max was definitely in "you kept me up too late and woke me up to early, I just caught my 2nd wind" mode. Hence the blurry pictures. 

 Both legs of our flight were easy-peasy thanks to 2 Kindles, Amazon videos and snacks. What the heck did people do before today's technology!?

 With about 20 minutes left in our 2nd flight, Max hit his wall. He handed me his Kindle, cuddled up with his "nigh-nigh," and was out. 

 Harry managed to make it the whole way without so much as a cat nap. We knew his grand collapse was coming, it was just a matter of when. Thankfully he made it through a trip on the airport shuttle and the wait for our rental car. Once in his carseat he didn't stand a chance.

Lunch, a quick trip to the pier on Manhattan Beach and some impromptu swimming in their underwear later, and both boys were out for the night. They slept from 5:15 California time until about 5:30 the next morning, completely missing dinner with Matt's cousin Erika and her husband. It was much needed rest before a fun-filled week in the sun.

Mary, Mary, Quite Contrary

Spring and summer are exciting times here at the Ritchie farm. Winter often feels like it stretches on forever and it's common to catch us all daydreaming of warmer temperatures, evening walks to visit neighbors (or our equine NEIGHbors) and getting our hands dirty with some outdoor projects. 

This year's project was one of those that didn't really HAVE to be completed - but one that we knew would be a major game changer when it came to our summer garden. Last summer, our first as official "farmers," we breathed new life into some raised garden beds that we inherited when we bought our land. To keep all of the critters away, we put a small chicken wire fence around the beds and called it good. The fencing proved to be a very effective roadblock for rabbits, but unfortunately it also made it extremely difficult to include H and Maxo in our gardening adventures. It wasn't long before our daydreams turned to expanding the space - not only to include more beds, but also to create an area that was a bit more family friendly.

Now, those of you who know my husband know that he functions on a 'go big or go home' mentality. He gets an idea, he plans, and then he takes off running.....sometimes underestimating the magnitude of the task at hand. Yet regardless of how big and/or overwhelming the job, my Mathew always amazes. Our new garden fence was no exception. Holy Beautiful.

Two months have passed since the great fence was erected and to say that we LOVE this new space would be a tragic understatement. The beds are so much easier to access and even more importantly, the boys have freedom to explore! They love being able to help plant seeds and pull weeds ;) and thanks to the gate they can come and go as they please.

Thank you, Mathew, for turning this daydream into a reality!

When we planned our 2016 garden, Matt and I both knew that we wanted it to contain lots of peppers. Remember that 'go big or go home' thing I mentioned before?? I'd like to introduce you to our 30 pepper/chili plants. I 'm literally drooling at the thought of all of the homemade salsa and roasted red pepper soup in my future. NomNomNom!

 Zucchini, kohlrabi and....you guessed it! Another pepper.

 This is one of my favorite beds - mostly because it produces some pretty rapid results! Sweet peas, radishes, carrots and green onions are all big hits on the Ritchie farm.

Our first harvest of the year!

 For a girl who doesn't cook with onions much...I sure planted a lot of onions! They'll come in handy for that salsa and soup I mentioned earlier, not to mention all of the tomato sauce I plan on making. 

 "Crunchy beans" for Harrison the veggie lover. We'll be lucky if 50% of the crop makes it back to the house uneaten.

A few weeks ago weeks ago we pulled the last of our homemade spaghetti sauce out of the freezer and I've been in a state of mourning ever since. Here's hoping that adding a few more tomato plants to this year's garden will mean fresh tomato sauce year round.  

Temperatures are soaring this week in Nebraska and so far the garden seems to be loving it! Our peas have flowered and I had my very first teeny-tiny tomato sighting this afternoon. 

This girl is straight-up giddy! Mary, Mary, Quite Contrary ain't got nothin' on me.

Summer Lovin'

In the words of a very wise 3-year-old...

"This was the best day ever!"

 It's all fun and games until a puppy steals your Cheetos.

Oh sweet summer - The Ritchie's welcome you with open arms..

Another Year...

Every year I try to convince myself that I'm prepared for May 31st. Prepared to be strong. 

Prepared to hold my head high. Prepared to smile thru the reality of what the day represents. I wake up telling myself "You've got this, Kristen. You can do it!" only to be reminded almost instantly of just how fragile my heart remains after 5 years without Charlotte. 

It's in these moments that I have to remind myself that it's OKAY to feel broken. 

On May 31st, 2011, our world was shaken to its core and we were forced to say unexpected good-byes to our daughter. Five years isn't going to take that pain away. Quite honestly - I'm not convinced that 10 years, or even 20, will accomplish that feat. 

And that's OKAY.  

There is no timeline for grieving - no right way to navigate the ups and downs. And while time may not actually 'heal all wounds', it can teach you the importance of being gentle with yourself. 

Yesterday Matt and I could have easily let grief make us feel defeated, but instead we took the day in stride and tried to balance the "ugh" with things that made our hearts smile. We were gentle with ourselves and set no expectations for what the day should or shouldn't be.

We ate surprise donuts for breakfast.

We slow danced in the kitchen.

We looked at old pictures and were floored by how much our Maxo resembles his big sister.

We let little boys stay up past their bedtime, soaking in their giggles as they soaked themselves with the hose.

 We snuggled a bit longer than normal and said lots of special bedtime prayers to our guardian angel.

May 31st was a day filled with so many ups and downs. It felt anything but graceful, but we made it through. There were tears. There was laughter. But most importantly, there was love. So much love.  

I could only be grateful once I realized I would rather have known you for a moment than never at all. I would rather endure the inexplicable pain of outliving you than to never have seen your face, spoken your name. I would rather be yours and you be mine, regardless. Regardless of the sorrow, regardless of the ache, and regardless of the years I will walk this earth carrying you - not in my arms - but in my heart. ~Lexi Berndt