Two Little Pumpkins

Two boys. Two Pumpkins. One giant mess.

But the smiles we get in the end make it all worth while.

A Fall "Venture"

Last weekend our two little adventurers headed off to Nebraska City with their NamNam, PopPop, and Uncle Abe for a day of fresh air and Fall fun. The weather was unseasonably warm for October in the midwest and was perfect for exploring (and for giving the grown-ups a run for their money!)

Harrison is an old pro at this whole "venture" thing, but for Max it was a first. I was worried that he would run out of gas early, but from the sounds of it was go, go, go from start to finish.

Three "little" birds. Tweet! Tweet! Tweet!

Budding musicians

Text of the day - 

 "Is a lunch of caramel corn, french fries, and apples enough?"

 1000 feet up in the trees...and one baby brother who insists on doing everything by his self. 

Thats a lot of steps for little legs!

These two boys make my heart explode.

Apple picking

 "Mama, I eated my own big apple off that tree. It was green and it was yummy."

Lovin' on Uncle Abe. That Maxo can be pretty sweet when he wants to be.

 Skinned knees, sticky face, dirt under his nails, and a leaf in his diaper...I'd say that this kiddo had a successful first adventure!

  Thanks NamNam, PopPop and Abe for treating our boys to a fun-filled day and for helping create such special memories with them! We love you so very much.

Happy

Over the past couple of months I have shared a series of photos that our family had taken earlier this summer. Harrison as a 3 year old. Max at 18 months. Two sweet brothers together. And lastly, our family...my everything. I had considered stopping there, but as I scrolled through all of our images from that night, there was one that my heart told me that I still needed to share. My words won't do justice to what this image speaks to my heart...it is absolute perfection.

...

Approximately 3 minutes after Ashley left our home on the night of our family session, I started stalking her Facebook page, anxiously waiting for a sneak peek at our images.  Don't judge...I've never claimed to be a patient person! Three minutes turned into 3 days, and just as I was getting ready to turn in for the night my eyes were treated to the beautiful image and caption below.

"I felt my lungs inflate with the onrush of scenery - air, mountains, trees, people. 

I thought 'this is what it is to be happy'" ~Sylvia Plath.

As I lay in bed, choking back tears as to not wake Matt sleeping beside me, I could not stop repeating those words to myself. "This is what it is to be happy." Such a simple phrase, but in that moment it took my breath away. You see, for the past 4 years 'happy' has been somewhat of a balancing act, and for awhile it left me feeling more guilt than anything else. Grief can be a jerk like that...robbing you of good moments and making you second guess everything. After Charlotte died I had to learn that it was OKAY for me to feel happy again - to smile, to laugh - even though I was so incredibly broken. Happy didn't have to mean that I didn't hurt. It didn't mean that I had forgotten or moved on. Its been over 4 years and I still ache for that little girl every single day, but in my heart I know that she wouldn't want me to walk through life with my head down. She would want to see my face lit up with a grin, to hear the sound of giggles coming from deep in our bellies, to feel the love that fills our walls. 

This road has not been easy. There are times where I still feel lost, broken. I am awkward, introverted, and often insecure in my own skin. But I look at that picture and I see a smile that looks much like one from the 'old' Kristen. Whole-hearted. Genuine. Happy. Our trials have changed us, there is no doubt, but this little family of mine...sigh...

How could I be anything but happy?

But there will come a time, you'll see, with no more tears.
And love will not break your heart, but dismiss your fears.
Get over your hill and see what you find there,
With grace in your heart and flowers in your hair.

~Mumford and Sons; After the Storm 

The Ritchies {2015}

For the past 3 years I've had the best intentions of getting family photos taken. And for the past 3 years, I have managed to come up with every excuse in the book not to have them taken.  

Lets just wait until Harrison is 1 so that he's got more personality.

Whoops - Harrison is 1, but I'm pregnant. Let's wait until this baby is born.

Lets just wait until Max is 1 so that he's got more personality.

Ugh, we're so busy. I can't find the "right" photographer. Excuse. Excuse. Excuse.

Let's be honest...the whole family picture process ends up being way more stress than I ever want to deal with. Picking a date, location, coordinating outfits. Manipulating naps. Hoping for good weather. Praying kids cooperate. Its a lot of work! 

But oh my, do the results make all of that "stress" worthwhile.  Especially when you connect with the right photographer. Now I want family pictures every 6 months...or weeks.

Where better to have family pictures taken than in our own home - the place where so many of our memories together are created. Pardon my sappy rationale - but in a crazy sort of way, the Ritchie 'farm' feels like a symbol of our survival. Four years ago our world was turned upside down. We lost a child, sold the only home she ever knew, lived in rental homes, 2 different states, started new jobs, and welcomed new babies. It has been a crazy, stressful, and emotional journey, yet somehow we have managed to find our way back to a place that we weren't sure we ever could. We built this place from the ground up, and in the process, put the pieces of our lives back together again. This is so much more than just a house, it is our home.

I don't even have words. These pictures. They are perfect.

When she came to our home the evening of our photos Miss Ashley had no idea that there was one very important piece of our family missing. She knew us as a family of 4...a mom, a dad, 2 crazy little boys...not the family of 4 + 1 that we really are. She came to our home, won over our kiddos (Harry at least!), worked her magic behind the camera, and was on her way. Imagine my surprise when we received our final images and I came across this little piece of perfection.  

{Our 4 + 1}  
A mom. A dad. Two crazy little boys. And if you look to the left, a little girl watching over us all. There may or may not have been tears.

My happy people. My happy place.

My heart is full.

Photos courtesy of the one and only Ashley Crawford. Book with her now. She is amazing.

Brothers {2015}

My oh my - these 2 boys stir up all sorts of feelings in this mama's heart.  Less than 18 months separate our two little yahoos, and while that means that there is always plenty of chaos in our home, it also means that there is something pretty amazing building between them. 

Max absolutely adores his big brother - mimicking everything he does (both naughty and nice!) and pushing his own limits in order to keep up. Its quite obvious that when he looks at Harrison he sees a hero, a best friend.

Harrison does his best (which sometimes isn't saying much!) to play nice with his little tag-a-long. He knows just how to make him laugh whether he's sad or just feeling a little goofy and he tell me "Mama, I love Maxo" on a daily basis.

Together they are crazy. Together they are sweet.

Together they fill our home with so much amazing. 

Here's to brothers. 

To the love and the hugs. The fights and the tears. The giggles and outside voices.

Best friends in the making.  My heart is full.

(And now I have to go cry a little. Like I said, they stir up all sorts of feelings!)

Maxwell Thane {18 Months}

Earlier this week we found out that our not-so-little little boy Maxo is slated to officially move up to the toddler room at school in mid-August. I knew that we were getting close, but having an actual date was a bit of a blow. My poor mama's heart struggles with the realization that no matter how hard I try to keep him little...our sweet Maxo is becoming a big boy. Last summer we were celebrating milestones like sitting upright and consistently sleeping thru the night. This year we have an independent 18 month old who is bound and determined to keep up with his big brother.

Mr. Maxwell, you are our heart and our soul.

Here are a few of our favorite pieces of you at 18 months.

Its been amazing to watch your personality develop into something so all your own. When Harrison was your age he was all about dirt and trucks. You, on the other hand, prefer things like animals, puzzles and quietly flipping through your Brown Bear, Brown Bear book. You are both serious and silly, sensitive and strong-willed, adventurous and a shy-guy. It really is the perfect combination.

There's a whole lot of goofy wrapped into that personality of yours as well, and there's not much better than the sound of your sweet giggles and big belly laughs filling our home. The best ones always come courtesy of big brother - he's teaching you everything you need to know about being silly. You dance the minute you hear music, run the minute you sense a diaper change, and will repeat any activity that you know produces a laugh from your audience.

Your face lights up when you see your Dad.  My mama heart loves watching the 2 of you together - singing "Row Row Row Your Boat" together at the dinner table, chasing each other around the kitchen island, or even just snuggled up on the couch reading your favorite books over and over.  I'm not quite sure how I got so lucky, but I'm thankful for it every day.

While you love love love your daddy, you are most definitely a mama's boy. You say "mama" approximately 1,000 times a day, and I'm more than happy to reply every single time. I'm clinging to these special days with you and pray that I never take our snuggles, your slobbery kisses, or the way you try to eat my nose when I sing you the "Apple" song at night for granted. So much love.

Every morning when I come to get you out of your crib you look at me with a big smile and ask "Hawwy?" You idolize your big brother and are constantly trying to keep up with him whether is something little like brushing your teeth or a big effort to climb into the car all by yourself. I knew that with only 17 months separating you that you would eventually be best friends - but what I didn't know was how insanely AWESOME it would be to watch your relationship grow.

You have a heart of gold and a soul that is oh so sweet. Its not unusual to to see you give a kiss to a tree in our yard or to a puzzle piece after you've helped find it's home. You give the best "I'm sorry" hugs and are quick to say please and thank you. 

Just a few odds and ends - You giggle every time I put sunscreen on you. Every. Single. Time. You're discovering your voice and learning lots of new words. Just this morning you said something that I think was supposed to be watermelon. There were way too many syllables and w's involved, but it was just about the cutest thing ever. The minute you see a hose turn on you rush to put your face in the spray of water. You have a thing for "chews" (shoes) - probably because you know that shoes generally mean that you get to go outside! If if were up to you, you would kiss every puppy that crosses your path. Even strange puppies that we meet in the park. Eek! You're somewhat of a puzzle prodigy. Your are still pretty nap dependent, but don't sleep well anywhere other than in your crib. You still suck your middle fingers and snuggle up with your "nigh-nigh" the minute we put you down to sleep. 

Oh sweet Maxo, you melt us with sweetness and always keep us on our toes.  And while I would be content with you staying little, I can't wait for more big boy adventures with you.

Happy (belated) half birthday, my love.

Photo cred to my new photographer crush, Ashley, of Ashley Crawford Photography.