I have been wanting to write an update on Charlotte's heart cath, but low and behold, life seems to get in the way! The weekend flew by, and the evenings after work seem to go just as quickly. For that reason, I'm having a "working" lunch....and by working, I totally mean blogging and getting in some online Christmas shopping!
Like I said, our weekend was a crazy one. We got to Omaha Thursday evening and Charlotte was lucky enough to see all of her grandparents in one place! We wanted to make sure that they all got a little baby fix before her cath the next morning. (Thanks NamNam and PopPop for opening up your house to everyone!)
Charlotte slept great Thursday night (I wish that I could say the same for Mom!) She couldn't have formula after 1AM and could only have clear liquids until 3, so I did my best to sneak some in without waking her up. Then at 5:10 we were out the door. We met with the cardiologist who was doing the cath as well as the anesthesiologist and then they took our little lady back at around 7:20. Honestly, I can't even tell you what time she was out...I was so tired and so anxious for the day to be over with that I didn't even look at a clock. To sum things up, Charlotte did really well. She spent the night in the PICU and they released her the following morning.
I don't want to go into too much detail about what they saw during the cath, mostly because its way to hard to describe unless you have totally submerged yourself in cardiac anatomy as we have! The long and short of it is that we're at the point of the next dreaded surgery. Charlotte is thriving and growing, which is GREAT, but it also means that her original shunt is now too small to accomplish what it needs to. They will present her at their cardiac conference one week from today to discuss the details of what needs to be done. Originally we were talking about waiting until after the first of the year, but now think it will probably be sooner. The longer we wait and keep that tiny little shunt in her, the more chances we have for complications like clotting. A clot in the shunt is nothing but terrible, so Matt and I just want to move forward.
We knew this was coming. We know that it's necessary. That doesn't make it any easier. Being back in that hospital was hard. We were excited for everyone to see her and how much she has grown, but it "re-opened" our eyes to a reality that we would rather forget.
Another heart mom had this on her blog one day and as soon as I read it I wrote it down. She compared the feelings and emotions that come along with being a heart mom to a tidal wave...
"Breathe in. Breathe out. Tread water. Ride the wave. Paddle. Paddle. Paddle. Let the wave pass. Breathe in. Breathe out. Just when I think that the wave has passed, I find myself again at the base of another giant wave."
You hit the nail on the head with this one, Stefani. I couldn't have described it any better. I hope you don't mind that I "borrowed" it. (http://whenlifehandsyouabrokenheart.blogspot.com/)
Our life is full of waves. Yes, some are bigger than others, but they all have the ability to throw us off balance and make us feel so incredibly helpless. As Matt, Charlotte and I find ourselves up against the next big wave, please pray for us. Pray that it passes quickly. Pray that it beats us up as little as possible. Pray that it leaves us with the chance to rest our feet on solid ground for awhile before the next one rolls through.
Breathe in. Breathe out.