Thursday, September 8, 2011

Something for Bear...

I have a predisposition to being over-emotional (let’s blame it on genetics)…It has never really taken much to make me cry.

Heck, I cried one year watching a team celebrate after winning the College World Series. I hadn’t seen a single tournament game that year and I knew nothing about any of the teams involved, but they looked so incredibly excited as they were celebrating. How could that NOT bring me to tears!? Right?!

I cry happy tears.

I cry sad tears.

I cry gut-wrenching tears that make me feel dehydrated by the time they stop falling.

Lately the latter seem to be the ones I shed the most. Sad. Gut-wrenching. I guess that is what happens when you have a constant BLAH feeling that accompanies you 24 hours a day. Now don’t get me wrong…I don’t mope around every day. I’m at a point where I can smile, laugh, have normal conversations and such, but below the surface the sad is always there. I fully expect that it always will be.

While I seem to be functional these days, there is always the potential that something will come along and push those “sads” to the surface for all to see. I never know when that something will come along or what it will be, which makes it that much harder to be “normal.”

Today’s something was delivered courtesy of one of my favorite websites.

I love the website For those of you who are unfamiliar with this site, Etsy is a self-described “hand-made marketplace" where you can find almost ANYTHING! For me, it was the perfect place to find all things adorable for my little girlie.

You might remember when my crazy beagle-dog Maybe modeled this headband before Charlotte was born….I got it from Etsy.

Here is my little Chuck at 2 and 1/2 months all girl’d-out in the same headband.

Then there was this AWESOME zipper heart shirt. The woman who makes these has a little girl that was born with a congenital heart defect. The minute I saw them I HAD to get one for little miss. Another Etsy score!

Another example? Here’s a look at the stickers that were DONATED by a wonderful Etsy vendor to help us with “Books for Charley.” As if I needed any more proof that Etsy and the vendors who sell there are awesome!

Today I logged on to Etsy and this cute little coat immediately caught my eye….

Toddler Teddy Bear Coat in Pink

Upon closer inspection I saw the following…

Toddler Teddy Bear Coat in Pink

Sigh…a pink and brown bear coat…

I guarantee you that despite its too-expensive-for-a-toddler price tag, Charlotte would have owned this coat. My little Bear in a bear coat? Can you picture anything more perfectly adorable?

Case in point…Bear in her original bear coat!


So yes, today that tear-inducing something was a coat. A silly, silly, silly coat. I can’t stop looking at it and picturing my baby girl’s face peeking out from under that oversized hood with the button eyes.  I can see the big goofy grin on her face and her own sparkling eyes (which were about as big as the bear's button eyes!)  I can see it so clearly and I want so badly to scoop up that little bear and squeeze her with big bear hugs.  Tears, tears and more tears, all from a silly little coat...

I love you, Charley Bear. 

And speaking of that crazy little Bear, here she is with her Daddy cheering on the Packers in last years Super Bowl!  Even her little hat has ears!  Never did I think that a Packer's game to open up the NFL season would push me to tears...


  1. {{{HUG}}} Thinking of you and Charley Bear!

  2. Even though I'm a puddle of tears after every one of your posts, I thank you so much for sharing with us all.


  3. Praying for you to always find happiness amongst the sadness in all of your memories and dreams of Charlotte.

  4. ((Hugs)) and tears for you my friend.

  5. I too lost a Charlie this year in February. He was born at 23 weeks and lived only 1.5 hours. My 6 year old son sleeps with a bear that my dear friends gave him at the time of Charlie's death. His bear's name is Charlie Bear.