Monday, October 31, 2011

Halloween 2011

I've thought a lot today about what this post would be like....or if I would even post something at all.  It's been one of those days filled with mixed emotions that make me feel a little lost.

October 31st.  Halloween.  Another month since I held our little girl.  Talk about a double whammy.

Facebook is full of pictures of little kids posing in costumes, the candy aisle at the grocery store was packed with last minute shoppers, and in an hour or so little princesses and ghosts will start showing up at our door looking for goodies.

Last year I was so excited for Halloween...this year I don't know what I am.

So while I didn't know what words I would use to describe how I feel today, I was convinced that they would be pouty.  I knew that I would come here and vent and cry and be an angry, jealous, hurting mommy without a child to dress up to take trick-or-treating.

Then, as I was walking out to my car I got a message from Cora's mom with a link to her blog.

And I smiled.

I was reminded that we are not alone in this.
There are people out there in similar shoes walking similar paths.
There are people who are thinking of us on days like today.
There are people who are praying for us.

Last year Charlotte was a bear.  This year she is an angel.

When we were back in Omaha this past weekend Matt and I went to a pumpkin carving party at my sisters.  The kids all got to carve their own pumpkins....ok, who am I kidding....the adults all "got" to carve the pumpkins FOR the kiddos.  There were ghosts, spiderwebs, Angry Birds and this special little pumpkin...
 My sister snapped this awesome picture.  I love how the heart glows in the darkness.
And I can't forget about this one!  Some of our friends and their 2 boys took Miss Charlotte her own little pumpkin.  There is a pretty cool story behind this one.  One of the boys actually "won" this pumpkin at school when his name was drawn.  Want to know WHO drew his name?  His friend Charlotte!  How sweet that they decorated it just for her.  Thanks Pospisils!

You sure are loved little girlie!  Happy Halloween!

1 comment:

  1. I think about you and Charlotte often throughout the day. I do not know firsthand how it feels to lose a child, but I do know firsthand how it feels to live in fear of it everyday. Our own heart journey has been difficult, painful and prolonged. We are far from being in a place where we can relax and enjoy life. We have been in a hospital four months now. I think of you and Charlotte so often because I want Madilynn to feel just as loved as you made your little one feel. She had a beautiful and all too brief life. I know she felt your incredible love every minute of it. And I know she feels it in heaven too.

    Amy and Madilynn