Wednesday, June 22, 2011

"Fix You"

Many of you may have read the comments section of my post yesterday and saw mention of the song "Fix You." I heard this song for the first time, ironically, just a few days before our world was turned upside down...which is strange, because the CD was released in 2005. I immediately came home, downloaded it and played it for Matt. I loved it.

Here is where everyone takes a quick break to download the song, YouTube it, whatever tickles your fancy. Then come back and listen to the song while you read the lyrics below. I promise you, its good.


"Fix You" by Coldplay

When you try your best, but you don't succeed
When you get what you want, but not what you need
When you feel so tired, but you can't sleep
Stuck in reverse

And the tears come streaming down your face
When you lose something you can't replace
When you love someone, but it goes to waste
Could it be worse?

Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you

And high up above or down below
When you're too in love to let it go
But if you never try you'll never know
Just what you're worth

Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you

Tears stream down on your face
When you lose something you cannot replace
Tears stream down on your face
And I...

Tears stream down on your face
I promise you I will learn from my mistakes
Tears stream down on your face
And I...

Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you.


When we were contemplating music for Charlotte's service there was no doubt in my mind that I wanted this to be played. Only now, the meaning of the song had been transformed. I initially thought of it as Matt and I doing whatever it took on God's green Earth to help "fix" her sick little heart, but my husband so incredibly pointed out something different...

Maybe it was Charlotte who was sent here to fix US. Maybe God saw that we took things for granted. Maybe he needed to teach us to open our hearts and to love despite fear...not to hold anything back even if it meant that our own hearts would break in the end. And now that we do find ourselves in this dark place, it serves as reassurance that there is hope. God will guide us home. Our bones will eventually know happiness again.

One day we will be reunited with our little Charlotte and at that time we will again be whole...or rather...FIXED.

5 comments:

  1. Kristen, you write so are so wonderful at sharing your feelings. I am going to listen to this song right now. God Bless you and Matt!

    Kathy Baldwin

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  2. I have listened to this song MANY times since Charlotte's service and every time I say a prayer. Always thinking of you...

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  3. I have always loved this song...only now it will have special meaning x
    Lynne

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  4. I like Coldplay but have never heard this song before. Beautiful song and I think it was perfect to be shared at Charlotte's service.
    Thinking of you and your family. Praying!

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  5. Kristen,
    I am a new "follower" of your blog, as we have just been told that our baby girl also has a life threatening condition that will affect her chances of survival in & out of the womb. I thank you for writing this blog, as it's something I haven't been able to do yet - let alone talk about it out loud. Maybe writing would be a good outlet for me also. It's also good to read about someone else who has experienced the same heartbreak & fears that we are.
    My reason for posting right now is in response to your comment following the "Fix You" lyrics. I hope you don't fully think that God needed you to be fixed, so Charlotte had to suffer. I do believe God is with us through all of this, but I can't imagine that our sweet babies were chosen to go through something so awful - - in order to teach us a lesson about life. Please consider that you & Matt are/were perfect all along, doing the best you can in God's eyes...that this was just a fluke or accident, and undoubtedly you will become stronger & learn from it as a result. I am trying to get through our heartbreak with that belief. You also said in another post that no parent should have to pick out their 1 yr old child's gravestone and why God would let this happen. I agree that none of us should have to go through that and God didn't plan for it to happen...it just did. It was an accident that God will carry you through. I hope you might find some comfort or strength in my perspective...as I have to believe we aren't being "taught a lesson". I like the song lyrics you have posted & chose for Charlotte's service. Again, thank you for this blog - you are providing me with some therapy & guidance as we are just beginning this similar journey.....

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