I will be the first to admit, I'm not very good at asking for help. I want to be able to fix things. I don't want to be a burden. I sometimes convince myself that I can do it all. What I have a hard time remembering, is that when people OFFER to help, they usually legitimately WANT to help...especially when it comes to grandmas and their grandkids.
When Charlotte was in the hospital for surgeries, I very rarely left her side. I always felt comfortable leaving her overnight in the care of the EXCELLENT nursing staff at Children's, but during the day...I was there. If I wasn't, Matt was. There were many times when people would offer to relieve me so that I could leave the hospital for a bit, but I can count on
one hand 2 fingers the number of times I actually took them up on it.
Our stay after surgery #2 was especially hard on me. Charlotte was older and we knew her sweet little personality...it was almost like she was looking at us with those big eyes, pleading with us to just take her home. The day that Charlotte got discharged from the PICU, I could feel myself nearing my breaking point. Pretty bad timing considering that it was the day that Matt had to head back to Sioux Falls for work! Still, for reasons I don't quite get, I continued to turn down help. I was her mom...I should be able to do it all, right?? It was a rough day trying to transition to a new floor, convincing Charlotte that eating was a GOOD thing, and overall fussiness (on both our parts!). When my mother-in-law, Mary called that evening, I didn't even have a chance to turn down her offer to come to the hospital...I guess she could hear my exhaustion in my voice.
Charlotte hardly slept a wink that night. There were moments of quiet, but for the most part there were sad whimpers and tears. Ugh, it breaks my heart just thinking about it. When Charlotte's NamNam showed up, I was ordered to the couch to try to get some sleep, and she took over trying to sooth a sad, scared, uncomfortable little girl. As I lay there, I could here her singing. I had tried singing as well, but apparently my song wasn't as good as NamNam's. She sang the same song over and over (and over) again...and as long as the song was filling that 5th floor room, Charlotte was silent.A is for Apple
B is for Bed
C is a Crown that you wear on your head
D is for Daisy
E is for Eye
F is for Fish you can catch if you try.
G is for Goose
H is for Hat
I is for Ice Cream, I really like that
J is for Jumprope
K is for Kite
L is for Lowly hanging on tight.
M is for Moon, that comes out after dark
N is for Nest in the tree in the park.
O is for Oven, be careful, don't touch!
P is for Pie that I like very much.
Q is for Queen who invites you to tea
R is for Rainbow that's lovely to see!
S is for Sailboat
T is for Tie
U's the Umbrella that keeps you dry
V is for Van
W for wheel
X is a Xylophone played by a seal
Y is for Yo-Yo yellow and blue
Z is for Zebra that lives in a zoo!
And that's my Alphabet Song for you!
Charlotte loved that song, and the same holds true for her little brother. When he's upset/over-tired/crying in the car, all that I have to do is sing "A is for..." and it's as if some magical switch is flipped. It's such a peaceful feeling knowing that the same song that brought comfort to our little girl on that YUCK night in the hospital, makes sweet Harrison happy too. Yet another reminder that there is a little piece of her in his heart.