Three, Three, How Could it Be?

To my precious Charley Bear,

HAPPY BIRTHDAY baby girl!  I'm totally in awe at the fact that you would be THREE years old today...3 years.  Wow.  Every detail of that day is so fresh in my mind...the doctors unexpectedly telling me it was time to make our way to Omaha, the frantic search for your daddy, the surprise c-section, hearing your powerful cry announcing that you were here and ready to fight, seeing your squishy face for the first time.  It was a little bit crazier than expected, but it was without a doubt one of the best days of our lives.  

In my heart of hearts, I always thought that we would be celebrating birthdays together until I was old and gray.  I thought that we would watch you blow out the candles on your birthday cake year after year after year.  That we would have the opportunity to watch you grow from a beautiful and strong little girl, into a confident and courageous woman.  I never could have imagined that your first birthday would be the last that we would celebrate together here on Earth.  One party.  One cake.  One year.

As much as my heart is missing you, and as much as I just want to sulk and cry...today I promise to do my best to CELEBRATE.  I want you to look down on us and see us smiling as we reflect on our time with you.  We are baking special birthday brownies, making a trip to the store for some balloons, singing happy birthday songs...all things that we would be doing if you were still here with us.  I want need to fill this day with happy things....things that I KNOW would make you smile.  

I love you sweet girl.  To the edge of the Earth and back.  As high as the heavens.  

Beyond words or explanation.

Happy Birthday, Charlotte!