Lunch Date

If you've been coming to Little Miss Ritchie for long, you might remember reading about some of the feeding struggles that we encountered with Charlotte.  Feeding issues are actually quite common in the heart world.  When most newborns are learning to breast/bottle feed, ours are hooked up to ventilators, IVs, catheters and feeding pumps. Our children fatigue easier than those with healthy hearts, and their hearts work twice as hard to complete even the simplest tasks.  We are given time restrictions on how long we can let them eat at a time and are keenly aware of the dangers of dehydration.  I think I was stressed out about her eating before I was even able to feed her! 

One of my favorite GOOD eating memories (yes, there were lots of those too!) came courtesy of Charlotte's NamNam and PopPop and an Omaha restaurant called B&G Tasty Foods.

As you can see in the picture above, B&G Tasty Foods is the "Home of the Loose Meat Sandwich."  For those of you who don't know what that is...basically its seasoned ground beef on a bun.  Nothing fancy...but it definitely hits the spot!  Apparently Charlotte thought so too!  We were staying at my in-laws one weekend when her PopPop suggested that we get sandwiches from B&Gs for dinner.  At that point, Charlotte was eating mostly pureed baby food, and when she did try table food, she had a very sensitive and unpredictable gag reflex.  I was skeptical when PopPop gave her a taste of his sandwich...but she quickly put my doubts to rest.  That little stinker LOVED IT!  Of all foods...a loose meat sandwich.  Go figure.

Fast forward to Valentine's Day this year...I only worked a half day and decided to pay a visit to our baby girl.  As much as I hate to admit this, I've never been very good about going to the cemetery.  I feel miserable about it, but it just hurts so much.  I prefer the thought of her in my heart, not in the ground.  I know that she is with me every single day yet sitting by her headstone is just a cruel reminder that it's been so long since I held her in my arms.  Sigh.  So anyway, I was driving to the cemetery when I had the idea to turn my visit into an impromptu lunch date.  I just so happened to be driving right past B&Gs and knew in an instant that it was a loose meat sandwich kind of day.

I sat outside on the wet ground, hood tied tightly around my face, and ate my sandwich.  We talked.  I cried.  And then it started to snow.  Not just any snow...but one of those where the flakes are enormous and they seem to just dance in the air around you.  The snow only fell for about a minute before stopping, but I couldn't help but think to myself "hello, baby girl" and believing that those beautiful flakes were from her.  

I like to think that she was thanking me for that yummy loose meat sandwich.