Sunday, May 12, 2013

Mother's Day 2013

I've known from the time that I was old enough to snuggle my baby dolls that one day, God willing, I would be a mommy.  I mothered my brood of Cabbage Patch dolls, baby-sat from the time I was deemed a responsible age, and continued caring for a special group of kiddos until the time that I graduated pharmacy school.  With a good 15+ years of child care under my belt, I was pretty confident that not only would I be a mom one day...but that I would be a damn good one at that.  I could change a diaper with my eyes closed, make a mean mac and cheese, juggle 3 squirley boys at bathtime, and soothe away the tears of a sensitive toddler.  I thought I was set.

Then God gave us Charlotte and everything that I thought I knew about being a mommy went straight out the window.  My confidence went with it.  I wasn't prepared to care for a critically ill child.  I didn't know how change a diaper when there were IV lines, tubes and monitors congesting my work space.  I had never operated a pulse oximeter, hooked up an oxygen tank, adimistered feedings through an NG tube.  Everything in those early days felt so foreign to me and it took me awhile to realize that being a mommy isn't about the things that you know going into it...but about the love you give and the things you learn along the way. 

Today I look at my friends and family members who are mothers -- one celebrating their  60+ Mother's Day, a first-timer, a mother to a teenager with autism, one with two adopted children who are very much her own, mother's like myself who's hearts are torn between Heaven and Earth, heart mommies riding the CHD rollercoaster, those juggling crazy schedules with work and kid's activities, some now with empty nests -- and I see shining examples of what it really means to be a mother.

Loving beyond anything you every imagined yourself capable of.
Making sacrifices. 
Stepping outside of comfort zones.
Learning from mistakes (God knows we all make them).
Giving yourself whole-heartedly to the needs of your child.
Teaching compassion, building confidence, shaping little hearts and minds.
Loving, loving....and a little more loving.

I feel so blessed to have such an amazing group of women to turn to as I find my own way as a mom.  Wishing you all a very happy Mother's Day!

So thankful that I get to be the mama of these adorable little kiddos.  
Each day, each moment, each memory is a gift.

Charlotte 9 months
Harrison 10 months

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